I am sure that most of us have at one time in our life have heard that you need to choose the life you want to live. If the life you are currently living isn’t working for you then it is because of the choices you have made and it is up to you to change your choices to make every step a towards the life you want.
It sounds so easy. Then when you are given the task of determining what you want in life it is hard. Abstract things come to mind, like “I want to be Happy.”, “I want to love and be loved”, “I want to be a part of something.”… but what exactly do those things mean to me. What tangible things can be used to measure achievement of these steps? That is where the work comes in, delving deep to understand exactly what I want and how to visualize it. How to plan for a life that may or may not happen is scary. But I do know that it is more likely to happen if I work towards it instead of just let things happen randomly.
What makse me Happy? What do I have in life that I can’t live with out, what is currently missing in my life? When have I been at my happiest?
Looking back on my life to find happy moments is hard because everything I am currently feeling about life has jaded my perception, but a few moments stand out. When I was a pre-teen I had the chance to spend a week at a Horseback riding camp. We learned how to care for the horses as well as ride. That week was a high point in those years and I loved being around the horses. They made me feel connected to something. Their power and grace helped disguise my awkwardness.
Then during High School I can clearly pick 2 things that made me happy. The first was being part of the Academic Super Bowl. It fulfilled my need to be part of something and celebrated my intellect while providing me the opportunity to be a leader. It was the one place that I was allowed to be smart with out worrying about offending other people. The second was art class which I took for all 4 years. Art gave me an emotional outlet. I was able to create things from nothing more than a vision in my head. Creating art has always calmed my mind and soul.
In the 20 yrs since High School a variety of moments have crossed my memory as truly happy. Making good friends, sharing my life with pets, hiking in the woods, mountain biking trails, camping alone or with friends,swimming in the ocean, travelling, finding adventure, photographing landscapes, driving on road trips, making a difference in the lives of others, and creating art are all things that have been happy points in my life.
What does being a part of something mean to me?
To me it is finding people that want to be around me and that I want to be around. It means that what I am doing in the moment truly matters in my life. That I am not just drifting from one thing to the next to just please people. It means that I have a true soul connection to people, places and things. A lot of my happiest times involve this connection, the feeling of belonging.
How do I define loving and being loved?
For me love isn’t just for a life partner but also for every person I encounter. At the end of the day I want to know that above all I cared for the people I have come across regardless of their emotional return. I want to know that I am the type of person that people want to be around and to emulate because I lift others up instead of knocking them down.
I also want to love a man that in turn loves me. I want to feel security and comfort in knowing I get the privileged of waking up to someone whom wants to wake up to me. I want to find the person whom makes my life complete and for whom I do the same. My partner in life.
So what is the life I truly want??? Well I want,
To celebrate my intellect, do what matters, be a leader, spend time in nature, travel, have adventure, connect with animals, create art, make a difference by lifting others up, have a soul connection, and find my life partner.
Knowing is half the battle (per GI Joe) now I have to focus on what these things look like in my life and how to create a plan that moves me towards those goals.